How are you holding up during the "Rona of 2020"? It's been a shake up to our world financially, emotionally and physically. It has forced the world to slow down. It has been a hard lesson in the perception of what humans think they can control. So how y'all doing?
Many people may feel angry, frustrated, denial, sad and a slew of emotions. Some folks may feel disconnected. Some may feel that the goverment and health officials are placing a burden on their civil liberties and feel a sense of violation. Then there are those who may feel a sense of relief that the world has had to slow all the way down. Some folks, despite all of the uncertainity may feel like they can breathe for once and really think. For some people there is a heighten sense of being productive. Some folks are like "Naw, me and this couch about to Netflix and chill." Some folks are homeschooling and really getting to know their children in a way that they did not ave the privilege of experiencing. Thank you teachers EVERYWHERE! Y'all the real MVPs.
Prior to the pandemic I was really starting to get into the mode of focusing on living with joy despite (fill in the blank). Joy is an buoy. It keeps you bouncing above the water when the waves get rough. Joy is a reminder that there are things that are going well. Joy is a reminder to your brain, body and heart that you don't have to survive yet thrive. Joy is that light at the end of the tunnel. It is the sun right after the rain. And we know that the rain eventually goes away.
How to hold onto joy? (1) Living in the moment. Pull yourself back from thinking about the what if's and think about the "right now". What's going right? What is in your control? (2) Comparison is the thief of joy. Your neighbor might be building a outdoor fireplace. Yeah for them. You got out of bed and fed yourself. That is good enough. (3) You are enough. Insecurities may creep up. Naw, you have come a long way. You have done some things that allowed you to get to this place. It may not be exactly where you want to be but you are here. (4) Be you. Your smile, your kindness, your spirit is a gift. Conforming to a standard that is built on survival in the (neighborhood, family, corporate, academic settings, etc) is not who you are meant to be. Flex on'em. It's ok. (5) Cookies and cake is delicious. No really what makes you happy and not numb? A good ass cookie will have me dropping low to the floor! (6) Connections with others who make you happy. Setting boundaries with people who increases your stress level. Protect ya peace.
It's difficult, I know. It takes repetition of new behaviors to create a new habit. On average 21 days to change behaviors. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Sit with your feelings. You do not need to dismiss them. Think through them and not over them. Remember to focus on what is going well, what feels good, taking one step at a time and connect with others that feed your soul. Joy is present.
The Magical Years by Selma Fraiberg